Subject: Food/Drink » Eating

I won’t eat anything that has intelligent life, but I’d gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Joshua Jackson)

At the all-you-can-eat barbecue, you have to pay the regular dinner price if you eat less than you can.


Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers… the original meal was never found.

(1959 – ) British/American actress, comedian, director, author & screenwriter

Glutton: A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Overeat: To dine.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars.

(1936 – 1989) American social & political activist

At my house we pray AFTER we eat.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

When I was pregnant, my friends sneered: ‘Eating for two, are we?’… I said, get lost, I’m not cutting down.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian

Never eat more than you can lift.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)

The worse thing about eating an entire block of cheese by yourself is everything I just said.

American comedian

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Everything tastes more or less like chicken.

When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
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