Subject: Food/Drink » Eating

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian

You better cut the pizza in four pieces… I’m not hungry enough to eat eight.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last forty years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

Is she fat? … Her favorite food is seconds.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Rose: I just can’t eat a greasy cheeseburger in the middle of the day anymore. Doesn’t it bloat you?

Doris: Bloat me? No, it doesn’t bloat me! Actually I thought it went real well with the spare ribs I had for breakfast.


I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Diet: Something to take the starch out of you.

Fillit mig-non

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Chinese Food: You do not sew with a fork, and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles.

Muppet character (Frank Oz)

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.

(1897-1987) actress & comedian

Everything tastes more or less like chicken.

If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist

To eat is human, to digest, divine.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.


Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Tommy (Lasorda) will eat anything, as long as you pay for it.

American baseball player, manager & executive

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

If you think eggplant is good, you should try any other food; it’s much better.

(1983 – ) Israeli-American comedian, actor, writer & television host

We were so poor we had to eat dough for breakfast and sit out in the sun for lunch!

Food consumed standing up always has ten times the calorific intake of food consumed sitting down.

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet