Subject: Food/Drink » Eating

Our rabbi is so poor that if he didn’t fast every Monday and Thursday, he’d starve to death.

You guys keeping up on that Jeffrey Dahmer thing, the guy that ate 17 people?… you know, I could understand one or two, but 17 – you're eating just to eat.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer

To eat is human, to digest, divine.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Now don’t get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin’ ‘em more… fun to pet, better to chew.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

I hate reality… but nevertheless, it’s still the only place to get a good steak.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

The way to a man's stomach is through his mouth.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors – eat out.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?”

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne

If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

If you can eat anything you want to, what’s the fun in eating anything you want to?

(1956 – ) movie actor

Is she fat? … Her favorite food is seconds.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

It was actually easier for me to become a vegetarian – you know, quitting meat – because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of meat.

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian

Glutton: A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted.

You want to have a little fun, go to a fashion show and throw a cookie on stage and watch them.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

I'm a vegetarian… well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you’re thinking.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
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