Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Food/Drink
(Page 44)
A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol
Food/Drink
People
Prohibition
There is no such thing as a ‘little bit of garlic.’
O. O. McIntyre's Law
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn’t even get his degree.
Mitch Hedberg
(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink
Mr. Pibb
There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Frequency
Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.
Anonymous
Acting
Eating
Entertainment
Food/Drink
Occupations
In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Carl Sagan
(1934 – 1996) American astronomer, astrophysicist & author
Cooking
Food/Drink
Science/Weather
Apple pie
Universe
Avoid fruit and nuts; you are what you eat.
Jim Davis
(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)
Eating
Food/Drink
Wordplay
All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.
John Gunther
(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author
Eating
Emotions
Food/Drink
Happiness
Breakfast
The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.
Fourth Law of Kitchen Confusion
Cooking
Food/Drink
Murphy’s Laws
Ingredients
You want to have a little fun, go to a fashion show and throw a cookie on stage and watch them.
Mark Curry
(1961 – ) American actor & comedian
Appearance
Body
Eating
Fat
Food/Drink
Models
Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.
Anonymous
Cooking
Definitions
Food/Drink
Things
Oven
I told them sandwiches.
George Foreman
(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing
Entertainment
Food/Drink
Sports
Television
On what he planned on building in an appearance on the TV show "Home Improvement"
In Mexico, we have a word for sushi… bait.
Jose Simon
(1945 – 2008) American comedian & musician
Definitions
Food/Drink
Places
Mexico
Sushi
Fish & Ships
Translation
Food/Drink
Translations
On restaurant in the Far East
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol… it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
George Best
(1946 – 2005) Irish professional football player
Alcohol
People
Women
20 minutes
His [Ben Affleck's] ideal woman is a stripper with a Budweiser in each hand.
Gwyneth Paltrow
(1972 – ) American actress
Beer
People
Women
Ben Affleck
Strippers
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Rita Rudner
(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Food/Drink
Hollywood
Marriage
Time
Milk
Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.
Anonymous
Alcohol
Definitions
Food/Drink
Zigzag
No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol
Marriage
Men
Single
Whisky
Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.
Andrei Codrescu
(1946 – ) Romanian-born American poet, novelist, essayist & commentator
Books
Communication
Food/Drink
Cookbooks
Science is seeking a cure for thirst and I happen to be the guinea pig.
Norm
George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer
TV/Movie Quotes
As Norm Peterson in “Cheers”
Thirst
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