Subject: Food/Drink (Page 44)

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

There is no such thing as a ‘little bit of garlic.’

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn’t even get his degree.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

(1934 – 1996) American astronomer, astrophysicist & author

Avoid fruit and nuts; you are what you eat.

(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.

(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author

The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.

You want to have a little fun, go to a fashion show and throw a cookie on stage and watch them.

(1961 – ) American actor & comedian

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

I told them sandwiches.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion

In Mexico, we have a word for sushi… bait.

(1945 – 2008) American comedian & musician

Fish & Ships

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol… it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.

(1946 – 2005) Irish professional football player

His [Ben Affleck's] ideal woman is a stripper with a Budweiser in each hand.

(1972 – ) American actress

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks.

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother’s.

(1946 – ) Romanian-born American poet, novelist, essayist & commentator

Science is seeking a cure for thirst and I happen to be the guinea pig.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor