Subject: Food/Drink (Page 5)

Not enough to say grace over.

Expressions Food/Drink

Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.


Activities Alcohol Food/Drink

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Alcohol Intelligence Memory Situations

While it may be true that a watched pot never boils, the one you don’t keep and eye on can make an awful mess on your stove.

(1820 – 1897) Mormon missionary
Cooking Food/Drink Time

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Cooking Food/Drink Self

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Animals Eating Food/Drink

One night she told me to put out the garbage; I told her "you cooked it, you take it out."

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness… from all the free drinks.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host
Alcohol Appearance Health

You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late; you fryin’ toast?… at nine o’clock at night?… with bacon?… you’re broke.

(1957 – 2008) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money Poverty

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Cooking Food/Drink

I personally stay away from natural foods; at my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Food/Drink Old

My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

When a banana gets rotten people love to tell you that you can make banana bread out of it; I have never seen anyone actually do it.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Food/Drink

It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office.

(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author
Alcohol Characteristics Elections/Voting

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Eating Food/Drink

Whenever you see the word “cuisine” used instead of the word “food,” be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Eating Food/Drink

I’ve never been in a rotating restaurant, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, I put her on it, and I gave her a burrito.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Things

Eating without conversation is only stoking.

writer
Communication Conversation Eating Food/Drink

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

I eat like a vulture… unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Eating Food/Drink