Subject: Government

It's hard for the donkeys to win the race if they're going to carry the elephants on their backs.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Delegation: In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates.

(1922 – 2010) American historian, author, playwright & social activist

If you have the facts on your side, hammer the facts. If you have the law on your side, hammer the law. If you have neither the facts nor the law, hammer the table.

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs.

(1790 – 1869) French writer, poet & politician

Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your shoes than on the knees of your trousers.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

I had the right to remain silent, but I had lost the ability to.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian

When the president, during the campaign, said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation.

(1951 – ) U.S. senator (Minnesota), political commentator, comedian & writer

Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we're going to succeed.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor

A statesman is a successful politician who is dead.

(1839 – 1902) Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives

A Conservative government is an organized hypocrisy.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

I’m convinced there’s a small room in the attic of the Foreign Office where future diplomats are taught to stammer.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author

Government intervention in the free market always leads to a lower national standard of living.

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

I always say… that if my fellow citizens want to go to Hell I will help them… it’s my job.

(1841 – 1935) American jurist & Supreme Court justice

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

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