Subject: Government

The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.

The Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

Justice is open to everyone in the same way as the Ritz Hotel.

(1740 – 1819) American lawyer, jurist & politician

The bosom friend of senators and congressmen was about as daring as an early Shirley Temple movie.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

Often times people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

With a black president, I can relax…I can dance in public… I can buy a whole watermelon now.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host

Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.

American comedian & actor

Politician: One who is willing to do anything on earth for the workers except become one.

America is still a land of promise, especially during a political campaign.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist

I'm often asked why I travel around the country talking politics: Is it for humanitarian reasons, community spirit, or is it for the money, the limousines or the girls? … The answers are: no, no, yes yes yes!

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign

The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist

If law school is so hard to get through… how come there are so many lawyers?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

The question about those aromatic advertisements that perfume companies are having stitched into magazines these days is this: under the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment, is smelling up the place a constitutionally protected form of expression?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer

Ten thousand women marched through the streets of London saying 'we will not be dictated to,' and then went off to become stenographers.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

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