Subject: Government

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

A bunch of bong-smoking, America-bashing, flag-burning, yoga-posing, incense-burning, dolphin-saving, salmon-eating hypocrites; these are the sensitive, liberal people who are always yelling about people's freedom of speech and expression, unless you happen to say something that pisses them off.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

I rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University.

(1925 – 2008) American conservative author, commentator & television host

Ambassador: An honest man sent abroad to lie for the good of his country.

(1568 – 1639) English author, diplomat & politician

My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician; and to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician

Politician: A fellow who borrows your pot in which to cook your goose.

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession… and I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor

Politics is the pursuit of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor

You might be a redneck if… ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law against it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I think it will be a clash between the political will and the administrative won’t.

(1943 – ) English film director, comedy writer & actor

No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

Democracy gives every man the right to be his own oppressor.

(1819 – 1891) editor

Another such victory, and we are undone.

(318 – 272 BC) Greek general & statesman

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

The Tomb of the Well-Known Soldier.

(1905 – 1987) Welsh dramatist & actor

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker

The Rainforest Site