Subject: Government » Congress

Congress: A place where there are too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen – and not enough U.S. Congressmen.

Congress Definitions Government

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Alcohol Congress Government

Senate: A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Government

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Fools Government Insults Intelligence

Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate Committee appointed to look into it.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government

Space expands to house the people to perform the work that Congress creates.

Congress Government Murphy’s Laws

If “con” is the opposite of "pro," then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Congress Government Language

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems

Congress: A body of men brought together to slow down the government.

Congress Definitions Government

Rear: In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Military

Congress is so strange; a man gets up to speak and says nothing – nobody listens—and then everybody disagrees.

(1898 – 1967) Russian writer
Communication Congress Government Speech

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government Intelligence

When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Congress Government

I understand that Congress has taken the first step in the fight against air pollution: limiting the speeches to five minutes.

Congress Government

Congress is back in season.

Congress Government Malaprops

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Government People Situations Things

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress’s role.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Congress Government

I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US. Congress.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Congress Government

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Death Government Taxes

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Intelligence Wisdom

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Politicians Speech Time