Subject: Government » Elections/Voting

It’s not the people who vote that count, it’s the people who count the votes.

(1878 – 1953) Soviet politician, leader of the Soviet Union

Democracy is the counting of heads, regardless of the contents.

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

(1959 – ) U.S. Representative (South Carolina)

Vote: The instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Vote for the man who promises least; he’ll be the least disappointing.

(1870 – 1965) businessman & politician

A triumph for democracy; it proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as anybody else.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

The only way I can lose this election is if I’m caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

(1927 – ) Louisiana politician & governor

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper; and half never voted for president… one hopes it is the same half.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates.

(1922 – 2010) American historian, author, playwright & social activist

It’s not the voting that’s democracy, it’s the counting.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug – the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour; I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist