Subject: Government » Law

These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.

(1943 – ) American television journalist & author

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

What I need is a lawyer who specializes in the law of the jungle.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

Nothing is illegal if one hundred well-placed business men decide to do it.

(1932 – ) American politician, diplomat, activist & pastor

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor

Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

I always say… that if my fellow citizens want to go to Hell I will help them… it’s my job.

(1841 – 1935) American jurist & Supreme Court justice

I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

(1927 – ) American comedian

I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author

Much as he is opposed to lawbreaking, he is not bigoted about it.

(1990 – 1946) newspaperman & writer

Here [in Paris] they hang a man first, and try him afterward.

(1622 – 1673) French playwright & actor

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

(1860 – 1904) Russian short-story writer, playwright & physician

Legal: Used to mean lawful; now it means some kind of loophole.

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

When the [Supreme] Court moved to Washington in 1800, it was provided with no books, which probably accounts for the high quality of early opinions.

(1892 – 1954) U.S. Attorney General & Supreme Court justice