Subject: Government » Law

It’s better to be tried by twelve men than to be carried by six.

Jury: a group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author

I always say… that if my fellow citizens want to go to Hell I will help them… it’s my job.

(1841 – 1935) American jurist & Supreme Court justice

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

I don’t want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is.

(1927 – 1986) American attorney

Judge: Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?

Mae West: On the contrary, Your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Contract: An agreement that is binding only on the weaker party.

(1822 – 1891) U.S. senator (South Carolina)

90% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I would think the squad car cop is to the cop on a bike as the sketch artist is to the etch-a-sketch artist.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian

Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws.


It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

If law school is so hard to get through… how come there are so many lawyers?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist

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