Subject: Government » Law

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright

It's interesting to speculate how it developed that in two of the most anti-feminist institutions, the church and the law court, the men are wearing the dresses.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist

Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.

Judge: Mr Smith, you must not direct the jury. What do you suppose I am on the bench for?

Smith: It is not for me, your honour, to attempt to fathom the inscrutable workings of Providence.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer

I would think the squad car cop is to the cop on a bike as the sketch artist is to the etch-a-sketch artist.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian

Even the police have an unlisted number.

(1908 – 1996) actor & comedian

90% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Injustice is relatively easy to bear, what stings is justice.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

We shouldn’t have to be burdened with all the technicalities that come up from time to time with shrewd, smart lawyers interpreting what the laws or what the Constitution may or may not say.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

Judge: A law student who grades his own papers.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Judge: Miss West, are you trying to show contempt for this court?

Mae West: On the contrary, Your Honor, I was doin' my best to conceal it.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist

Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.













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