Subject: Government (Page 3)

Military Expert: One who tells you what’s going to happen tomorrow – then tells you why it didn’t.

Definitions Government Military

The news of any politician’s death should be listed under ”Public Improvements.”

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Death Government Politicians Situations

No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me; I’m like a white male U.S. senator.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Government People Self

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working honest Americans; it’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity… but then – we elected them.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Government Politicians

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Emotions Government

Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Democracy Government Politics

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president… and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Government President

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Conflict Government Politics

Taxes: A funding method which allows people to test their powers of deduction.

Definitions Taxes

You don’t listen to a guy who looks like the kid in ‘Deliverance’ all grown up.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Beliefs Government Opinion Politicians

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Government Politicians President

Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.

(1947 – ) American author
Government Politics President

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

Congress Government Murphy’s Laws Politics

Nation’s Hungry Attack Meese

Government Headlines

No taxation without regimentation.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Government Malaprops Taxes

The weight of all of your equipment is proportional to the cube of the time you have been carrying it.

Military

Opinions on Our 44st President

Government Headlines President

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay