Subject: Government (Page 3)

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Government

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions; conservatives feel they deserve everything they’ve stolen.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

(1972 – ) English standup comedian, writer & actor
Animals Arms Government Things

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes

You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Government Money

What a liberal wants is to bring about change which will not in any way endanger his position.

(1941 – 1998) Trinidadian-American and prominent figure in the Civil Rights Movement
Beliefs Government

Judge: Mr Smith, you must not direct the jury. What do you suppose I am on the bench for?

Smith: It is not for me, your honour, to attempt to fathom the inscrutable workings of Providence.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Law Occupations Work

Democracy: A state of mind in which every man is as good as every other man, provided he really is.

Definitions Democracy Government

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.

(1870-1943) German-American politician, socialist & writer
Definitions Government Politics

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Nixon impeached himself; he gave us Gerald Ford as his revenge.

(1920 – 1998) lawyer, congresswoman, & women's movement activist
Government People

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

(1959 – ) U.S. Representative (South Carolina)
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

He’s not technically a lawyer, but he’s got three court cases next week.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Law People

The CIA is made up of boys whose families sent them to Princeton but wouldn't let them into the family brokerage business.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Government Money

The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws.


Government Law

All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Government People

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

I belong to the Straight Talking American Government Party, or STAG Party for short.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Politics

Ever notice how many government officials make their raises effective long before they ever are?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money