Subject: Government (Page 47)

Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver; finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Government Politics Sports

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Government People Places Politicians

Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer to do anything.

Military Murphy’s Laws

There is no Democratic or Republican way of cleaning the streets.

(1882 – 1947) American mayor of New York City
Government Politics

There’s nobody bigger or better at the military than I am.

(1946 – ) American cretin & 45th U.S. president
Government Military

Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money Taxes

However harmless a thing is, if the law forbids it most people will think it wrong.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Government Law

It ain’t no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don’t break any.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Government Law

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Government

How come we choose from just two people for president, and fifty for Miss America?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government

Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Science Confirms: Politicians Lie

Headlines Politicians

Perhaps we could have a translation, I could not quite follow.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Communication Government

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay

Whatever organization we try to create, it always ends up looking like the Communist Party.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Government Places

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper; and half never voted for president… one hopes it is the same half.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication Elections/Voting Government Intelligence Reading/Writing

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Congress Entertainment Government Politicians Television

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

(1884 – 1933) American saloon keeper, actress & entrepreneur
Government Politicians

Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? … have the people we’ve been bombing over the years been complaining?

(1952 – ) American comedian & actor
Government Military

The CIA is made up of boys whose families sent them to Princeton but wouldn't let them into the family brokerage business.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Government Money