Subject: Government » Politicians

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you'll just give them a job.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

The difference between a politician and a snail is that a snail leaves its slime behind.

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president

When I entered politics, I took the only downward turn you could take from journalism.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Liberty doesn't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

The only way a reporter should look at a politician is down.

I will make a bargain with the Republicans; if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate

I have never found, in a long experience of politics, that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted “Bingo!” counted as a yea or a nay.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer

The wind doesn't bother me… I'm in the U.S. Senate.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

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