Subject: Government » Politicians

When I entered politics, I took the only downward turn you could take from journalism.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

A politician is a man who approaches every question with an open mouth.

(1770 – 1827) British statesman, politician & prime minister

Politicians are people who get sworn in and cursed out!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

A Republican stands up in Congress and says I’ve got a really bad idea!' and the Democrat stands up after him and says 'and I can make it shittier!”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

Statesman: A politician away from home.

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

The bosom friend of senators and congressmen was about as daring as an early Shirley Temple movie.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

Compared to the Clintons, Reagan is living proof that a Republican with half a brain is better than a Democrat with two.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

It takes nerve to be a Democrat, but it takes money to be a Republican.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

When no viable candidate exists, someone will nominate a Kennedy.

Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians.

(1901 – 1986) diplomat & economist

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman

Practical prayer is harder on the soles of your shoes than on the knees of your trousers.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs.

(1790 – 1869) French writer, poet & politician

The statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist













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