Subject: Government » Politicians (Page 4)

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Government Politicians

Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government Politicians

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common… they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Government Ideas Intelligence Politicians

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians

These days, the only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other a liar.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Truth

Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you'll just give them a job.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government Politicians Work

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Intelligence Memory Politicians

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

(1959 – ) U.S. Representative (South Carolina)
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

The only people who say worse things about politicians than reporters do are other politicians.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Communication Politicians

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Life Politicians

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working honest Americans; it’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity… but then – we elected them.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Government Politicians

Liberty doesn't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Politicians

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate
Government Insults Politicians

I won’t eat anything that has intelligent life, but I’d gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Politicians

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Congress Government Politicians Speech Time

Politicians make strange bedfellows, but they all share the same bunk.


Government Politicians

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Politicians

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.

(1928 – 1995) American artist
Government Politicians

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Politicians Situations