Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, Murphy's Laws, insults & more
Some Popular Authors
Alfred E. Neuman
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Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and be dumb enough to think it’s important.
(1916 – 2005) American politician & poet
Nixon is finding out there are no tails on an Eisenhower jacket.
Adlai E. Stevenson
(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Tea Bags are for D-Bags
Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.
Crime does not pay… as well as politics.
Alfred E. Neuman
fictional mascot and cover boy of
, an American humor magazine
A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.
(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
All politics is local.
Having committed political suicide, the Conservative Party is now living to regret it.
(1944 – ) British politician, chancellor of Oxford & governor of Hong Kong
Ten thousand women marched through the streets of London saying 'we will not be dictated to,' and then went off to become stenographers.
(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver; finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.
Richard M. Nixon
(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth.
(1961 – 1994) comedian
George W. Bush
How can you govern a country that has 246 varieties of cheese?
Charles de Gaulle
(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognize a good party man when I see one.
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
There is no Democratic or Republican way of cleaning the streets.
Fiorello La Guardia
(1882 – 1947) American mayor of New York City
The worst part about politics is that you're always right and no one ever knows it."
Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage.
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum; the plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.
(1963 – ) television host & comedian
I belong to the Straight Talking American Government Party, or STAG Party for short.
(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
On his political affiliation
What does an actor know about politics?
(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Responding to something said by actor Ed Asner
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