Subject: Government » President

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president… now I'm beginning to believe it.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer

For those eight years Clinton was the president, it was like we had that really cool substitute teacher.

(1977 – ) American comedian

All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm; there's nothing to do but to stand there and take it.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House – with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president

The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

Often times people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

The pay is good and I can walk to work.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president

When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president

Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.

(1947 – ) American author

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer

The Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem; they're all running for the presidency.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I like my buddies from west Texas; I liked them when I was young; I liked them then I was middle – age; I liked them before I was president; and I like them during president, and I like them after president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president… and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

I was asked to name all the presidents… I thought they already had names.

(1973 – ) American comedian

With a black president, I can relax…I can dance in public… I can buy a whole watermelon now.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
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