Subject: Health » Doctors (Page 3)

A rule of thumb in the matter of medical advice is to take everything any doctor says with a grain of aspirin.


Doctors Health Wordplay

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Doctors Health

Doctor: The only man who hasn’t a guaranteed cure for a cold.

Definitions Doctors Health

I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.

Alexander III (356 – 323 BC) King of Macedon
Death Doctors Health

Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Doctors Health

Doctor, feel my purse.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Doctors Health

If your time ain't come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Death Doctors Health Life Situations

Doctors, dentists, and lawyers are only on time for appointments when you’re not.

Doctors Lawyers Murphy’s Laws

Hippocritical oath.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

The operation was a success, but I’m afraid the doctor is dead.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Doctors Health

… expensive care

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors Health Occupations Work

I told my doctor I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Doctors Health Old Things

The doctor demands his fees whether he has killed the illness or the patient.

Doctors Health Proverbs

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws

If a patient dies, the doctor killed him, but if he gets well, the saints have saved him.

Doctors Health Proverbs

Oh, they’ve broken my sacroiliac! Run to the nearest golf course and get a doctor!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Doctors Health TV/Movie Quotes

The psychiatrist’s office is where you say what you think and be told what you mean.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Doctors Health

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Doctors Health Situations

I quit because I was in the hospital and I realized that I truly believed that laughter was the best medicine, but it turns out penicillin works a hell of a lot better.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Emotions Health Laughter

Internship: A sleepless ordeal imposed on young M.D.’s for the purpose of weeding out the weak and infirm among them, and eroding the health of the survivors sufficiently to ensure better empathy in the years to come.

Definitions Doctors