Subject: Hollywood Squares

Hollywood Squares:

The best lines from the television show "Hollywood Squares"

Peter Marshall: A current movie is being described as “the story of a love that changed the world forever.” What movie is it?

Paul Lynde: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: True or false… the dining room of the House of Representatives in Congress serves 10-12 gallons of beans every day?

George Gobel: And they go pass… (laughter) legislation!

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Redd, of the stolen cars in this country, are many of them ever recovered?

Redd Foxx: Why sure, I had one recovered in zebra once.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian

Peter Marshall: Alexander Graham Bell of telephone fame, spent 30 years of his life trying to get a female sheep to do something. To do what?

Marty Allen: Return his phone call.

(1922 – ) comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: According to The Cosmo Girl’s Book Of Ettiquette, what does Helen Gurley Brown say you should put in your bra to attract men?

George Gobel: A copy of Sports Illustrated.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Paul Lynde recently stated, “If there’s anything helpful for other actors to be drawn from my experience, it is this: don’t try to fake…” What?

Karen Valentine: Anything!

(1947 – ) American actress

Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: In bowling, what’s a perfect score?

Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: Back in the 1870s, Emile Berliner invented something, and without it, I wouldn’t be able to do my job. What was it?

Paul Lynde: Let’s see… toupees? … facelifts? … contact lenses?… makeup? … capped teeth? … loud sports jackets?…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: What are “dual purpose” cattle good for that other cattle aren’t?

Paul Lynde: They give milk and cookies… but I don’t recommend the cookies!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: According to the IRS, out of every 10 Americans audited, how many end up paying more taxes?

Paul Lynde: 11.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall:  Every night before he went to bed, George Washington would always put his false teeth into something. What?

Charley Weaver: Martha!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian

Peter Marshall: You are leaving Hawaii by boat. Legend says that you’ll return if you do something. Do what?

Paul Lynde: I guess have Don Ho’s baby.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: When are you considered an old man in Japan?

George Gobel: When you have to get your doctor’s permission to bow.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall:  Wally, True or false… your teeth are made primarily of ivory?

Wally Cox:  Yes.  First you take an elephant…

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Spiro Agnew was in the infantry during World War Two.  Was he decorated?

Wally Cox: He looked really pretty in the puka shells but they made him take them off…

(1924 – 1973) American comedian & actor

John Davidson: An editor of The Youth’s Companion wrote this and you’ve probably said this hundreds of times. What?

Rose Marie: Your place or mine!

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: True or false… George Jessel has a 9 year old daughter.

Paul Lynde: False. It’s his girlfriend

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A passenger.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: According to an old song, you should “Wrap all your troubles in…” What?

George Gobel: Furs… and tell her to stop calling your house! 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
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