Subject: Hollywood Squares

Hollywood Squares:

The best lines from the television show "Hollywood Squares"

Peter Marshall: To Roy Rogers, what is Cowboy Heaven?

Paul Lynde: Seven minutes with Tammy Wynette!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, nothing will make a young teenage couple stay together as much as when their parents do something. Do what?

Rose Marie: When they go away for the weekend. When they’re left alone, they have a ball.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?

George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: You’ve got a secret. According to psychologists, if you’re average, will you probably tell it to a man or to a woman?

Paul Lynde: If I tell it to a man, he might hit me.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Who was known as “Old Blood and Guts?”

Paul Lynde: Barbara Stanwyck.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: You have some lipstick on your collar. Will treating it with petroleum jelly help?

George Gobel: I'm gonna have a hard enough time explaining the lipstick!

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Sophia Loren has written a cookbook which will be published this spring entitled, “Cooking With …” Cooking with what?

Paul Lynde: Cooking with a three-foot-long spoon.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: According to beauty experts, you put some egg white on your face, leave it on for two minutes, and then rinse with cool water. If you've been successful, what's gone?

Rose Marie: The egg white.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: Karen Valentine made her film debut in a film called “Gidget…” Gidget what?

Paul Lynde: Gidget Gets Morning Sickness.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Back in the 1870s, Emile Berliner invented something, and without it, I wouldn’t be able to do my job. What was it?

Paul Lynde: Let’s see… toupees? … facelifts? … contact lenses?… makeup? … capped teeth? … loud sports jackets?…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Tom Bergeron: The term SWAT originated in the Los Angeles Police Department. What does SWAT stand for?

Whoopi Goldberg: Some Whoop-Ass Tonight!

(1955 – ) American comedian, actress, political activist & talk show host

Peter Marshall: According to The Cosmo Girl’s Book Of Ettiquette, what does Helen Gurley Brown say you should put in your bra to attract men?

George Gobel: A copy of Sports Illustrated.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall:  According to Dear Abby, how long is the average honeymoon?

George Gobel:  Forty-seven minutes.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: We’ve all heard the old phrase “A pig in a poke.” What is a poke?

Paul Lynde: It’s when you’re not really in love.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: True or false… according to the White House chefs, if the President had his way, daily lunch would consist of nothing more than a sandwich and a beer.

Paul Lynde: Even in public school?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: True or false… George, experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.

George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of ‘em.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: What did Anita Bryant do for her talent competition in the Miss America contest?

George Gobel: Punch the hairdresser.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall:  Is it possible to housebreak an elephant?

George Gobel:  Yes, but don’t try it during a newspaper strike.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: How many movies has Vincent Price been in?

Paul Lynde: You mean, how many good movies?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall:  When you go shopping, is there any difference between irregulars and seconds?

Charley Weaver:  Out at the home, when I have seconds I get irregular.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
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