Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Hollywood Squares
Hollywood Squares:
The best lines from the television show "Hollywood Squares"
Peter Marshall: In the Middle Ages, Paul, people in convents were not allowed to eat beans because they believed something about them we now know isn’t true. What?Paul Lynde: Well, I know they took a vow of silence…
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to Elizabeth Post, does she think it’s a good idea to send out divorce invitations? Sonny Bono: I forgot to ask!
Sonny Bono
(1935 – 1998) American recording artist, record producer, actor & politician
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: George, does Elizabeth Taylor smoke?George Gobel: She has one cigarette after every meal, which amounts to… two packs a day.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Time Life Books calls it the most complex lump of matter known to man. What is it? Joan Rivers: My eggs Benedict!
Joan Rivers
(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: You are a senior citizen and during the night while you are asleep, your heart beats 50 times per minute. Is there something wrong with you?Charley Weaver: Well, let's put it this way. Could you ask me Friday's questions today?
Charley Weaver
Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Charley, an 87-year-old doctor named Quick invented something that’s named for him. What is it?Charley Weaver: 87 years old? I’d say the quickie!
Charley Weaver
Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Under the right circumstances, could a 100-year-old man father a child? Paul Lynde: With a nurse and maybe a mortician standing by.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… most personal physical attacks are never reported to police.Rose Marie: No, I just put them in my diary.
Rose Marie
(1923 – ) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: In the literary world, who kept saying ‘I think I can, I think I can?’
Charley Weaver: Well, out at the home, that was Mr. Ferguson. And Mrs. Ferguson kept saying '’ wish he would! I wish he would!’
Charley Weaver
Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, True or false… the University of Nebraska was recently given $185,000 for an extensive study of the prune.Paul Lynde: There goes $185,000 down the drain!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Paul, true or false… studies show that women in their sixties have a more intense craving for physical romance than when they were in their forties…Paul Lynde: Well, that's tough!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… Guatemala once declared war on Germany.Paul Lynde: Yes, and it's a good thing Germany never found out!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to
The People’s Handbook Of Medical Care
, it’s the single-most important factor in letting you know that something is wrong with you. What is it?George Gobel: It’s when people pass you on the street, and go “YECCH!”
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Who was known as “Old Blood and Guts?” Paul Lynde: Barbara Stanwyck.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light? Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: On radio, Margo Lane knew something about young, handsome, wealthy Lamont Cranston. In fact, she knew about Lamont Cranston, things that no one else knew. What was it?Paul Lynde: That his bellybutton was an outsie.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: What’s that thing to the east of Sweden? Paul Lynde: Have you seen Anita Ekberg lately?
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Diamonds should not be kept with your family jewels, why?Paul Lynde: They’re so cold!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: When Burt Reynolds saw his pictures in
Cosmopolitan,
he said he had something that reminded him of Roy Rogers. What was it? Paul Lynde: Saddle sores… they both spend so much time in the saddle!
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to
Today's Health
, what do most dentists say you should do with your dentures before going to bed?Charley Weaver: Out to the home, we throw them all into the center of the room and have a swap party.
Charley Weaver
Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: In a very famous movie who said, “God, what a dump?”Paul Lynde: Dumbo.
Paul Lynde
(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Page 1 of 22
1
2
3
4
5
Next »
Last »