Subject: Hollywood Squares

Hollywood Squares:

The best lines from the television show "Hollywood Squares"

Peter Marshall: Paul, do most people sleep better in their street clothes than in their pajamas?

Paul Lynde: Yeah, we call them winos.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: You have a bunch of unwanted hair. According to Dr. Thotusen, what is most often the cause of unwanted hair? A bunch of it?

Paul Lynde: Running over a llama.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: In the movie Camelot, Sir Lancelot is called on to perform a miracle.  What is the miracle?

Charley Weaver: The miracle is to make the movie a hit.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian

Peter Marshall: Would you be surprised to find some wood in your hot dog?

Paul Lynde: No, but I’d be surprised to find some meat.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

John Davidson: What’s the worst thing to have around the house?

Rose Marie: Vacuum cleaners! 

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: Will a lightning rod work if it’s bent?

Dom Deluise: My lightning rod wouldn’t work… I’m going to have my doctor check my bent rod!

(1933 – 2009) actor, comedian, film director, chef & author

Peter Marshall: Do female frogs croak?

Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: According to French wine experts, was 1969 a good, or a bad year for wine?

George Gobel: Now this has got to be a trick question because there's never been a bad year for wine.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I love you?”

Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

(1911 – 1993) American actor

Peter Marshall: According to beauty experts, you put some egg white on your face, leave it on for two minutes, and then rinse with cool water. If you've been successful, what's gone?

Rose Marie: The egg white.

(1923 – ) American actress & comedian

Peter Marshall: In what event are you most likely to be confronted by a dog leg?

Vincent Price: Oh, sleeping under a tree every time!

(1911 – 1993) American actor

Peter Marshall: A recent hearing, opponents of fluorinated water argue that too much fluorine in a persons system can cause an uncontrollable desire for sex?

Paul Lynde (shouting): HEY CULLIGAN MAN!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: True or false… in the recent world kissing contest in England, two contestants were disqualified when they got too passionate?

Paul Lynde: But they went on to win in three other categories.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: In one state, you can deduct $5 from a traffic ticket if you show the officer… what?

Paul Lynde: A ten dollar bill.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Can breathing in and out of a paper bag help stop anything?

George Gobel: If it’s filled with wine it can stop me from shaking.  

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Paul, Snow White… was she a blonde or a brunette?

Paul Lynde: Only Walt Disney knows for sure…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Paul, when the citizens of China want a drink of water, they usually do something to it first. What?

Paul Lynde: Remove the shirts.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: We’ve all heard the old phrase “A pig in a poke.” What is a poke?

Paul Lynde: It’s when you’re not really in love.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Imagine you are a child in your mother’s womb, can you detect light?

Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: In a survey of teenage mothers, most of them said they were listening to this when they got pregnant. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A pack of lies.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: What’s that thing to the east of Sweden?

Paul Lynde: Have you seen Anita Ekberg lately?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
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