Subject: Hollywood Squares

Hollywood Squares:

The best lines from the television show "Hollywood Squares"

Peter Marshall: According to Elizabeth Post, does she think it’s a good idea to send out divorce invitations?

Sonny Bono: I forgot to ask!

(1935 – 1998) American recording artist, record producer, actor & politician

Peter Marshall: Who are more likely to be romantically responsive. Women under thirty or women over thirty?

Paul Lynde: I don’t have a third choice…?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Paul, what do you call a group of germs?

Paul Lynde: A Panzer division.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Your sheep has a temperature of 102. Is she normal?

Burt Reynolds: People think I’m not normal because I keep taking her temperature.

(1936 – ) American actor

Peter Marshall: One Frenchman in seven makes his living making something. Making what?

George Gobel: Making love to the lady tourists.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Johnny Carson’s ex-wife Joanne will get $100,000 a year, so long as she doesn’t do one thing. What IS the one thing?

Totie Fields: Cash the alimony check.

(1930 – 1978) American comedian

Peter Marshall: According to the French Chef, Julia Child, how much is a pinch?

Paul Lynde: Just enough to turn her on.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Under the right circumstances, could a 100-year-old man father a child?

Paul Lynde: With a nurse and maybe a mortician standing by.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Is there anything an elephant loves more than a big bag of peanuts?

Paul Lynde: The love scenes in Dumbo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Twiggy reportedly added an inch to her bustline while making (the movie) The Boyfriend. What does that make her bust measurement now?

Paul Lynde: One.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: True or false… a Florida man was recently fined 75 cents to pay for the bullet police fired at him? 

George Gobel: Yeah, and they didn’t have change for a dollar, so they shot him two more times.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: In a survey of teenage mothers, most of them said they were listening to this when they got pregnant. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A pack of lies.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: True or false… according to the Bible, you are a sinner?

Paul Lynde: As long as they spelled my name right.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Will a goose help warn you if there’s an intruder on your property?

Paul Lynde: There’s no better way!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Does the Secret Service have any women?

George Gobel: Of course, who do you think performs the secret service? 

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: Charley, how many balls are on a pool table in a standard game of 8-ball?

Charlie Weaver: How many men are on the table?

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian

Peter Marshall: Do female frogs croak?

Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: True or false… every day, about 10 million American women take the pill.

Paul Lynde: And I could name 'em all!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: There's tennis elbow, there's jogger's knee, and there's swimmer's… swimmer's what?

Paul Lynde: All I can think of is trunks!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor

Peter Marshall: We’ve all heard the old phrase “A pig in a poke.” What is a poke?

Paul Lynde: It’s when you’re not really in love.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
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