Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 3)

Peter Marshall: Paul, you have a 9 year old son who constantly wets the bed.  What should you do?

Paul Lynde:  Get rid of him! 

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Dear Abby, it’s nature’s signal that something is wrong. What is it?

George Gobel: When your son starts waxing his legs.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher recently stated, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for them both.” Who or what was he referring to?

Paul Lynde: His fans.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, during a visit to the Moscow State Circus, Pat Nixon shook hands with something unusual. What?

Paul Lynde: The bearded lady, Mrs. Kosygin.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What’s that thing to the east of Sweden?

Paul Lynde: Have you seen Anita Ekberg lately?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The book of Proverbs in the Bible tells us that there is one thing that remains firm forever. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A topless Eskimo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Tom Bergeron: Bruce, you’re the most popular fruit in America. What are you?

Bruce Vilanch: Humbled.

(1948 – ) American comedy writer, songwriter & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: The average child in China learns how to do it at age three. The average child in America never learns. What?

Paul Lynde: How to pull a rickshaw.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: How many movies has Vincent Price been in?

Paul Lynde: You mean, how many good movies?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: President Johnson had a personal butler in the White House; so did presidents Kennedy and Nixon. Does President Ford also have a butler?

Paul Lynde: Yes, he doubles as the Secretary Of Agriculture.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the movies, who gave the advice, “whistle while you work?”

Paul Lynde: It was either Paul Winchell… or Linda Lovelace.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In one state, you can deduct $5 from a traffic ticket if you show the officer… what?

Paul Lynde: A ten dollar bill.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to FEMA, people from Florida should be prepared for hurricanes and people from the Midwest should be prepared for floods. What should people from California be prepared for?

Charley Weaver: The people from Florida and the people from the Midwest.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Arthur Hailey had a very successful movie and novel called Hotel. He has a new best seller about another stopover point. What is it called?

Charlie Weaver: Service Station.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What did James Watt invent after fooling around with his wife’s tea kettle?

Paul Lynde: James Watt Jr.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: One Frenchman in seven makes his living making something. Making what?

George Gobel: Making love to the lady tourists.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit?

Joan Rivers: Yes. It’s daddy’s turn.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Robert Young recently stated, “I never, never give…” something to his fans who ask for it. What?

Paul Lynde: A hysterectomy.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Your bird has a temperature of 150 degrees. Will he live?

Charley Weaver: Gee, I hope not. My dinner guests will be here in a couple of minutes.

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can boys join the Campfire Girls?

Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Which performing team were the stars of Ed Sullivan’s first TV show?

Paul Lynde: Aretha and Benjamin Franklin.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares