Subject: Insults

I just hope what Janet did at halftime [at the Super Bowl] doesn't, in any way, tarnish the good name of the Jackson family.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

I crap bigger than you!

(1919 – 2006) American actor

Writer, William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway: He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

Hemingway: Poor Faulkner, Does he really think big emotions come from big words?

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist

I'd rather be a lamppost in Denver than the mayor of Philadelphia.

American professional boxer

He was either a man of about a hundred and fifty who was rather young for his years, or a man of about a hundred and ten who had been aged by trouble.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Waldo is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

(1870 – 1916) British writer

She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth – or anywhere else.

(1902 – 1986) English-American actress

He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea.

(1902 – 1968) novelist

He makes a very handsome corpse and becomes his coffin prodigiously.

(1828 – 1897) Scottish writer

Pamela Lee said her name is tattooed on her husband's penis; which explains why she changed her name from Anderson to Lee.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

The Sun has the class of a polyester shirt and the soul of a Colombian hit-man.

It’s God, I recognized him from Blake’s picture.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

He [looks like] an umbrella left behind at a picnic.

(1852 – 1933) Irish writer, poet, art critic & dramatist

He is going around the country stirring up apathy.

(1918 – 1999) British politician

His favorite exercise is climbing tall people.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Bryant Gumbel’s ego has applied for statehood…. and if it’s accepted, it will be the fifth-largest.

(1934 – ) American TV personality

Before we make love, my husband takes a painkiller.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and even if he caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president

Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common: they both seek to pull down that which they could never build.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can't dress.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

I once described him [Arnold Schwarzenegger] as looking like a condom full of walnuts.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
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