Subject: Insults

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

(1944 – ) prime minister of Australia

A singer: You know, my dear, I insured my voice for fifty thousand dollars.

Hopkins: That’s wonderful; and what did you do with the money?

(1902 – 1972) American actress

The Incredible Sulk.

(1949 – ) British politician & author

Nixon is a purposeless man, but I have great faith in his cowardice.

(1930 – 2017) American journalist & author

His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open.

(1905 – 1976) industrialist, aviator, engineer, film producer & philanthropist

You’ve heard of people living in a fool’s paradise? … well, Leonora has a duplex there.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist

The best time I ever had with Joan Crawford was when I pushed her down the stairs in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater

He’s so old his social security number is two digits.

Winston has devoted the best years of his life to preparing his impromptu speeches.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

You don’t need big boobs to be feminine… look at Liberace.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Why are we honoring this man? … have we run out of human beings?

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor

Even the deaf would be traumatized by prolonged exposure to the most hideous croak in Western culture; Richards' voice is simply horrible.

(1950 – ) journalist & columnist

Compared to the Clintons, Reagan is living proof that a Republican with half a brain is better than a Democrat with two.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

Edward Woodward… Edward Woodward… sounds like a fart in the bath.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

He walked as if he had fouled his small clothes and looks as if he smelt it.

(1722 – 1771) English poet

She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator

After all the nice things I’ve said about that hag! … when I get hold of her I’ll tear out every hair of her mustache!

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

He tried to choke me! You saw it. He called me a baboon, thinks I’m his wife.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

He is a modest little man who has a good deal to be modest about.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
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