Subject: Insults

Who picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder?

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor

That kid's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)

Mariah the fashion pariah… the queen of catastrophic kitsch.

Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon – See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.

(1923 – ) U.S. senator (Kansas) & presidential candidate

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

It is not necessary to have relatives in Kansas City to be unhappy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

I’ve met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

You have a good and kind soul… it just doesn't match the rest of you.

A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

Winston has devoted the best years of his life to preparing his impromptu speeches.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer

I once described him [Arnold Schwarzenegger] as looking like a condom full of walnuts.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist

One could always baffle Conrad by saying 'humour.’

(1866 – 1946) English author

The little man on top of the wedding cake.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit

If you said 'irony' to Clay, he'd look down at his shirt and think it needed pressing.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director

Bette [Davis] and I are good friends; there's nothing I wouldn't say to her face – both of them.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

The reason so many people turned up at his funeral was to make sure he was dead.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

I'd rather be a lamppost in Denver than the mayor of Philadelphia.

American professional boxer

When his time comes I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of:a speed bump.

(1952 – ) American political satirist

When Charlie Finley had his heart operation it took eight hours…. seven just to find his heart.

professional baseball pitcher













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