Subject: Insults

He was one of those men who possess almost every gift, except the gift of the power to use them.

(1819 – 1875) English priest, university professor, historian & novelist

He's the only man I know who could look at the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated and complain because the bathing suits weren't flame retardant.

(1930 – ) American politician

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

(1948 – 1990) comedian

Every drop of blood in that man's veins has eyes that look downward.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher

Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.

A modern day Robin Hood, who steals from the rich and steals from the poor.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer

Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.

(1931 – ) American-born, British screenwriter, novelist & journalist

He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea and that was wrong.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

Denis Healey Being attacked by him is like being savaged by a dead sheep.

(1917 – ) British politician

The Russians have a weapon that can wipe out two hundred eighty thousand Americans… that puts them exactly ten years behind Howard Cosell.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

He had the compassion of an icicle and the generosity of a pawnbroker.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter

Hey lady, this is what you’re gonna hear; iIf you’re waitin’ for Billy Graham to come in and make a kid walk again, forget about it.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor

He has occasional flashes of silence that make his conversation perfectly delightful.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman

Edina: God, I hope you’re not inviting that bloody, bullocky, selfish, two-faced, chicken bastard, pig-dog man, are you?

Saffie: You could just say ‘Dad’.


Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

She preserved to the age of fifty-six that contempt for ideas which is normal among boys and girls of fifteen.

(1884 – 1967) American professor, poet & politician

His tattoos are like shit that you wrote on the cover of your notebook.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian

You've got to be careful quoting Ronald Reagan, because if you quote him accurately it's called mudslinging.

(1928 – ) U.S. vice president & senator (Minnesota)

[George Bush] has the look about him of someone who might sit up and yip for a Dog Yummie.

(1932 – 1997) newspaper columnist

A cross between an aardvark and an albino rat.

(1925 – ) American author and literary, theater & film critic

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.

(1901 – 1983) American film & television actor

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