Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, insults, proverbs & much more
Some Popular Authors
Alfred E. Neuman
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Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did.
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
As Rufus T. Firefly in “Duck Soup”
I described you in terms which were positively glowing, which is exactly how I’d like to see you in Hell.
(1958 – ) American actress, musician & dancer
As Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane in “Cheers”
He’s the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms.
Mamie Van Doren
(1931 – ) American actress & singer
About Warren Beatty
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Zsa Zsa Gabor
He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
(1811 – 1889) British statesman
I could never understand what Sir Godfrey Tearle saw in Jill Bennett, until I saw her at the Caprice eating corn on the cob.
(1913 – 1991) Australian actress
Poor George [Bush], he can't help it; he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.
(1933 – 2006) politician
George W. Bush
The English never smash in a face; they merely refrain from asking it to dinner.
(1910 – 1997) American writer
[He] is the only bull who carries his china shop with him.
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
About John Foster Dulles
Nigel Mansell is the only man who goes to Nick Faldo for charisma lessons.
English actor & television personality
Of British auto racer Nigel Mansell
You’re the sort of person Dr. Spooner would have called a shining wit!
You make Al Capone look like a petty shoplifter.
To Ralph Halpern CEO of the Burton Group
Devotees of awful filmmaking can't go wrong with this one.
"Elektra Pushing Forty?"
He’s so old his social security number is two digits.
Writer, William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway: He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
Hemingway: Poor Faulkner, Does he really think big emotions come from big words?
(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
is silent, as in Harlow.
(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Correcting Jean Harlow's pronunciation of Margot
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.
(1901 – 1983) American film & television actor
His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open.
(1905 – 1976) industrialist, aviator, engineer, film producer & philanthropist
About Clark Gable
If a swamp alligator could talk, it would sound like Tennessee Williams.
(1938 – ) film critic & former television co-host
The ‘g’ is silent… the only thing about her that is.
(1959 – ) English writer & columnist
About author Camille Paglia
Pearl is a disease of oysters…Levant is a disease of Hollywood.
(1927 – 1980) English theatre critic & writer
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