Subject: Insults

She is a peacock in everything but beauty.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

He is a silk stocking filled with dung.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician

A trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Elizabeth, you gotta stop calling me… I’m going with someone.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor

He has the vocal modulation of a railway-station announcer, the expressive power of a fence-post and the charisma of a week-old head of lettuce.

(1958 – ) Irish columnist, assistant editor & drama critic

He must have been an incredibly good shot.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

Actress Mary Anderson: Mr. Hitchcock, what do you think is my best side?
Hitchcock: My dear, you're sitting on it.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear;’ of course, there are lots of words he doesn't know the meaning of.

college football coach

The ‘g’ is silent… the only thing about her that is.

(1959 – ) English writer & columnist

Attila the Hen.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef

Sure, 90% of science fiction is crud; that's because 90% of everything is crud.

(1918 – 1985) science fiction author

You don’t need big boobs to be feminine… look at Liberace.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda; it’s the first time an entire Third-World-country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author

He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman

You can’t get Negro help like that, anymore… wow, to have a guy who can sing, dance – and dust!

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor

To hear Alice Keppel talk about her escape from france, one would think had swum the Channel, with her maid between her teeth.

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

(1910 – 1997) American writer

I don't recognize you – I've changed a lot.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Beyond the hair, tattoos and earrings, he's just like you and me.

(1948 – ) basketball coach

A nice, acrid, savage, pathetic old chap.

(1893 – 1979) English literary critic

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

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