Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Insults
(Page 2)
He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.
Oscar Levant
(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics
Government
Insults
Said of a politician
Why don’t you come over tonight? … our dog’s in heat.
P.J. O'Rourke
(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults
She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.
Will Rogers
(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance
Insults
… an old man who dresses like a Hooter’s waitress.
Greg Giraldo
(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance
Clothing
Hair
Insults
Hulk Hogan
[Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate scratching his pimples.
Virginia Woolf
(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Insults
Reading/Writing
On James Joyce
And I think I'll call it Superstar? Jesus Christ!
Barry Cryer
British writer & comedian
Insults
On considering writing Kylie Minogue's biography
What can you do with a man who looks like a female llama surprised when bathing?
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults
Of Charles de Gaulle
He makes a very handsome corpse and becomes his coffin prodigiously.
Oliver Goldsmith
(1828 – 1897) Scottish writer
Insults
Corpse
My prayer to God is a very short one: 'Oh, Lord, make my enemies ridiculous;' God has granted it.
Voltaire
(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Insults
He's the only man able to walk under a bed without hitting his head.
Walter Winchell
(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Appearance
Insults
Height
Thomas E. Dewey
You can always reason with a German… you can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.
P.J. O'Rourke
(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults
People
Her face was her chaperone.
Rupert Hughes
(1872—1956) American historian, novelist, film director & composer
Appearance
Insults
Chaperones
Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth.
Murray Walker
(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing
Insults
Misspokements
Sports
A victim of the use of water as a beverage.
Sam Houston
(1793 – 1863) American politician, statesman & soldier
Characteristics
Communication
Insults
Criticism
On President James K. Polk
God, whom you doubtless remember as that quaint old subordinate of General Douglas MacArthur…
S.J. Perelman
(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Insults
Opinion
Conceit
General Douglas MacArthur
You are so boring that you can't even entertain a doubt.
Anonymous
Insults
Boredom
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
P.G. Wodehouse
(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Alcohol
Appearance
Insults
I'm not intending to imply insult or judgment here but I am curious to know in order to be able to respond to your posts in an appropriate manner, so please forgive what appears to be, but in fact is not intended as, an insulting question: Are you stupid?
Melinda Shore
blog host
Insults
He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Appearance
Insults
On Calvin Coolidge
She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.
Oscar Levant
(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics
Insults
You have delighted us long enough.
Jane Austen
(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Insults
Page 2 of 42
« Previous
1
2
3
4
5
Next »
Last »