Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Insults
(Page 2)
A little emasculated mass of inanity.
Theodore Roosevelt
(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Insults
About Henry James
Such a little man could not have made so big a depression.
Norman Mattoon Thomas
(1884 – 1968) American pacifist & Socialist Party presidential candidate
Insults
About Herbert Hoover
The Great Depression
He was humane but not human.
e e cummings
(1894 – 1962) American poet, painter, essayist, author & playwright
Insults
About Ezra Pound
When Charlie Finley had his heart operation it took eight hours…. seven just to find his heart.
Steve McCatty
professional baseball pitcher
Baseball
Insults
Sports
Of the owner of the Athletics
I don’t hate you… I just don’t like that you exist.
Gena Showalter
(1975 – ) American author
Insults
From “Seduce the Darkness”
If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.
Muhammad Ali
(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing
Insults
Sports
Roseanne Barr is a bowling ball looking for an alley.
‘Mr. Blackwell’
Richard Blackwell (1922 – 2008) fashion critic, journalist, & designer
Insults
If life was a party, he wasn’t even in the kitchen.
Terry Pratchett
(1948 – ) English novelist
Insults
Life
And this is your grandson, huh? Oh, wonderful boy! Yeah, he’s a good boy. Now I know why tigers eat their young.
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults
TV/Movie Quotes
As Al Czervik in “Caddyshack”
"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse… but enough about Kanye West."
Stewart Francis
Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Insults
Kanye West
Kim Kardashian
The difference between journalism and literature is that journalism is unreadable and literature is never read.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication
Insults
Reading/Writing
If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck.
William Lashner
(1956 – ) American lawyer & novelist
Insults
Intelligence
From "Veritas"
Of course we all know that Morris was a wonderful all-round man, but the act of walking round him has always tired me.
Henry Maximilian 'Max' Beerbohm
(1872 – 1956) English essayist, parodist & caricaturist
Insults
Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.
David Letterman
(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults
Intelligence
Devotees of awful filmmaking can't go wrong with this one.
Michael Wilmington
movie critic
Film
Insults
"Elektra Pushing Forty?"
If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.
Jim Hightower
(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Insults
Intelligence
Money
George W. Bush
Oil
His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there’s scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults
Intelligence
Stupidity
He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.
Bill Bryson
American author
Appearance
Insults
I thought he was a young man of promise; but it appears he was a young man of promises.
Arthur James Balfour
(1848 – 1930) British Conservative politician & statesman
Insults
On Winston Churchill
Come on in, Frank… make yourself at home – hit somebody.
Don Rickles
(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults
Frank Sinatra
Nixon is a purposeless man, but I have great faith in his cowardice.
Jimmy Breslin
(1930 – 2017) American journalist & author
Characteristics
Insults
Richard Nixon
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