Subject: Insults (Page 4)

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

You don’t need big boobs to be feminine… look at Liberace.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

It appears that not even the heat of ridicule can weaken Rosie O'Donnell's steely resolve to make an idiot of herself.

(1969 – ) American columnist & author

Actress: I enjoyed your book. Who wrote it for you?

Chase: I'm so glad you liked it. Who read it to you?

(1900 – 1978) American actress & novelist

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

Frank Harris is invited to all of the great houses in England – once.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

You'd think such a little mind would be lonely in such a big head.

(1852 – 1917) English actor & theater manager

He’s the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms.

(1931 – ) American actress & singer

He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.

(1909 – 1995) American journalist

All Englishmen talk as if they’ve got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

You're just wasting your breath and that's no great loss either!

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter

Where does she find them?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I see the pain on your face when you say the word intellectual, because it has so many syllables in it.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist

And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

She’s so hairy – when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Monica Lewinsky has agreed to host a new Fox reality show called Mr. Personality; Lewinsky says this way, when people ask her the most degrading thing she's ever done, she'll have a new answer.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer

He was so crooked that when he died they had to screw him into the ground.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

It must have been tough on your mother, not having any children.

(1911 – 1995) American actress, dancer & singer

Mr. Lawrence looked like a plaster gnome on a stone toadstool in some suburban garden… he looked as if he had just returned from spending an uncomfortable night in a very dark cave.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet

They don't hardly make 'em like him any more… but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author

If a comic tells a joke, and no one is there to hear it, is Nick DiPaolo on stage?

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor