Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Insults
(Page 4)
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication
Conversation
Insults
Speech
You don’t need big boobs to be feminine… look at Liberace.
Joan Rivers
(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Insults
Liberace
It appears that not even the heat of ridicule can weaken Rosie O'Donnell's steely resolve to make an idiot of herself.
Jonah Goldberg
(1969 – ) American columnist & author
Insults
Rosie O'Donnell
Actress: I enjoyed your book. Who wrote it for you?
Chase: I'm so glad you liked it. Who read it to you?
Ilka Chase
(1900 – 1978) American actress & novelist
Books
Communication
Insults
Reading/Writing
Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.
Thomas Beecham
(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment
Insults
Music
To a woman cellist
Frank Harris is invited to all of the great houses in England – once.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Insults
You'd think such a little mind would be lonely in such a big head.
Herbert Beerbohm Tree
(1852 – 1917) English actor & theater manager
Insults
Intelligence
Of an actor
He’s the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms.
Mamie Van Doren
(1931 – ) American actress & singer
Characteristics
Death
Insults
About Warren Beatty
Egotism
He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.
James Reston
(1909 – 1995) American journalist
Insults
Richard Nixon
All Englishmen talk as if they’ve got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
England
Insults
Places
Speech
You're just wasting your breath and that's no great loss either!
S.J. Perelman
(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Communication
Insults
Where does she find them?
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Insults
On being told Clare Boothe Luce was always kind to her inferiors
I see the pain on your face when you say the word intellectual, because it has so many syllables in it.
Clive James
(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Insults
Intelligence
To Stephen Colbert
And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Insults
She’s so hairy – when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.
Joan Rivers
(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance
Body
Hair
Insults
Armpit
Madonna
Tina Turner
Monica Lewinsky has agreed to host a new Fox reality show called Mr. Personality; Lewinsky says this way, when people ask her the most degrading thing she's ever done, she'll have a new answer.
Tina Fey
(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Insults
People
Monica Lewinsky
He was so crooked that when he died they had to screw him into the ground.
Bob Hope
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Insults
It must have been tough on your mother, not having any children.
Ginger Rogers
(1911 – 1995) American actress, dancer & singer
Insults
TV/Movie Quotes
As Ann in “42nd Street”
Mr. Lawrence looked like a plaster gnome on a stone toadstool in some suburban garden… he looked as if he had just returned from spending an uncomfortable night in a very dark cave.
Edith Sitwell
(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Appearance
Insults
About D. H. Lawrence
They don't hardly make 'em like him any more… but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.
Hunter S. Thompson
(1937 – 2005) journalist & author
Insults
About Hubert Humphrey
If a comic tells a joke, and no one is there to hear it, is Nick DiPaolo on stage?
Dane Cook
(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Insults
Comedian Nick DiPaolo
Page 4 of 42
« First
« Previous
2
3
4
5
6
Next »
Last »