Subject: Insults (Page 41)

Don't be so humble – you are not that great.

(1898 – 1978) Israeli prime minister

I love his work but I couldn't warm to him even if I was cremated next to him.

(1943 – ) English musician, songwriter & member of the Rolling Stones

Sure, 90% of science fiction is crud; that's because 90% of everything is crud.

(1918 – 1985) science fiction author

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Judge: Are you trying to show contempt for this court, Mr Smith?

Smith: No, My Lord. I am attempting to conceal it.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea and that was wrong.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

With his womanly voice, stark white skin and Medusa hair, his gash of red lipstick, heavy eyeliner, almost nonexistent nose and lopsided face, Jackson was making his TV appearance in order to scotch all rumors that he is not quite normal.

(1957 –) British critic & satirist

She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.

(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator

Why don't you trade in your head for a bowling ball?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Come on in, Frank… make yourself at home – hit somebody.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor

The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

About as cuddly as a cornered ferret.

(1944 – ) British journalist

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

You’re a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

The worst and most homeliest thing to hit the screens since Liza Minelli.

(1925 – ) American author and literary, theater & film critic

You'd think such a little mind would be lonely in such a big head.

(1852 – 1917) English actor & theater manager

She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian

If you were hanging from a ledge by your fingers, he'd stamp on them.

(1939 – ) English political journalist & writer

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author