Subject: Intelligence

His mind is so open that the wind whistles through it.

(1918 – 2001) American sportswriter, commentator & actor

Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.

(85–43 BC) Latin writer

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten; they're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

(1930 – 1977) German teacher

Ever notice that 'what the hell' is always the right decision.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol

He is so stupid… it takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian

She has a photogenic memory.

You never realize what a good memory you have until you try to forget something.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You're only interested in one thing,” and you can't remember what it is.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

You cannot compile a wit out of two half-wits.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright

The Cardinal is at his wit’s end; it is true… that he had not far to go.

(1788 – 1824) English poet

I've never been an intellectual, but I have this look.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

(1948 – ) English novelist

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host

Sharp as a sack full of wet mice.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author