Subject: Intelligence

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student; at least they can find Kuwait.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian

Can't find his ass with two hands and a flashlight

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist

Heat produced by pressure expands to fill the mind available, from which it can pass only to a cooler mind.

Smart as a tree full of owls.

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

At any public relations luncheon, the quality of the food is inversely related to the quality of the information.

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

(1894 – 1963) English writer

If an idea's worth having once, it's worth having twice.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

A fool and your money are soon partners.

She’s so stupid… if you give her a penny for her thoughts, you'll get change back.

Philosophers: People who talk about something they don’t understand, and make you think it’s your fault.

The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.

A decision is what a man makes when he can’t get anyone to serve on a committee.

(1911 – 1993) columnist & novelist

A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.

 Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.

professional baseball player & manager

History would be an excellent thing, if only it were true.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer

Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes; art is knowing which ones to keep.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)

In mathematics you don't understand things… you just get used to them.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician

Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent.

(1860 – 1921) U.S. senator (Pennsylvania)

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