Subject: Intelligence » Fools

Never argue with a fool… people might not know the difference.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

You cannot compile a wit out of two half-wits.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright

I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

(1938 – 2007) British writer

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

(1956 – ) American comedian

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Sometimes a majority simply means that all the fools are on the same side.

(1925 – ) writer

It ain’t what a man don’t know that makes him a fool, but what he does know that ain’t so.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

A fool and his money are soon elected.

The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be delayed in the post long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

You’ve heard of people living in a fool’s paradise? … well, Leonora has a duplex there.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist

Nature never makes any blunders, when she makes a fool she means it.

(1772 – 1851) American Presbyterian theologian & professor

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

A fool in a high station is like a man on the top of a small mountain: everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody.

Little things affect little minds.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
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