Subject: Intelligence » Memory

I constantly walk into a room and I don’t remember why.; but for some reason, I think there’s going to be a clue in the fridge.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host

The older you get, the faster you ran as a kid.

professional football player & coach

There are three side effects of acid; enhanced long term memory, decreased short term memory… and I forget the third.


Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time — I think I’ve forgotten this before.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, “You're only interested in one thing,” and you can't remember what it is.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

I had amnesia… once or twice.


A liar should have a good memory.

Everything looks bad if you remember it.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to… to…

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Women and elephants never forget an injury.

My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice; one day, he took me aside and left me there.

American comedian

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

Memory and teeth grow weaker with time.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

I remember when Grandpa’s memories started to go; it was the day I caught him urinating with the door open… which is not a huge deal, but it’s annoying when I’m trying to drive.

Canadian comedian & actor

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer













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