Subject: Intelligence (Page 44)

The distance between many people’s ears is a block.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Intelligence

She is so stupid… when you said it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Intelligence New York City Places

If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

Insults Intelligence

The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is.

author
Communication Intelligence Wisdom

The only place a men want depth in a woman is in her [cleavage].

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Intelligence Men People Women

Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the priviledge.

Insults Intelligence

Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to the insane world.

(1927 – 1989) Scottish psychiatrist
Intelligence

I have a simple philosophy; fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Intelligence

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian
Appearance Intelligence Wisdom

Having imagination it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that if you were unimaginative would take you only a minute.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing Time

If you think that education is expensive, try ignorance.

(1930 – ) American lawyer & educator
Education Intelligence Money

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Clothing Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding

I remember your name perfectly, but I just can’t think of your face.

(1844 – 1930) English dean at Oxford whose name is given to the accidental transposition of sounds of two or more words
Intelligence Misspokements

An intelligent person can make a dumber statement than an idiot. The idiot is limited to his imbecility.

Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

He seems to have entered a mental phase that can euphemistically be described as eccentric.

(1952 – ) British journalist & columnist
Intelligence

If he had a mind, there was something on it.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Insults Intelligence

We always admire the intelligence of those who ask us for advice.

(1927 – ) American lawyer, activist & public official
Intelligence People

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

(1875 – 1965) German/French theologian, organist, philosopher, physician & medical missionary
Emotions Happiness Health Intelligence Memory

Some people hear voices; some see invisible people; others have no imagination whatsoever.

Intelligence Mind Situations

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Alcohol Ideas Murphy’s Laws