Subject: Life (Page 18)

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Life Stupidity Success

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Life

To better understand why you need a personal computer, let’s take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Life Things

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Education Life

Life is a shit sandwich and every day you take another bite.

(1932 – ) American football player & coach
Life

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Conflict Life World

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Age Life Sex

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Death Life

It’s hard to be famous and alive.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Death Life

It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Life

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade… then find someone who’s life has given them vodka, and have a party.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Life

It is a sobering thought, that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Age Life Success Time

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering… and it’s all over much too soon.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Emotions Life Time

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

(1914 – 1997) American writer
Life

Life: A breathing spell.

Definitions Life

You're supposed to eat the cows; they're great big lumbering stupid things – they’d be everywhere if we didn’t eat them.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Animals Eating Food/Drink Life

Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Life

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems than you have to.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Life Problems

Dick Clark went to a psychic; she told him, in a previous life, he was Dick Clark.

comedian
Life Past Situations Time

Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Characteristics Life