Subject: Life (Page 3)

Longevity: Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

No day is so bad it can’t be fixed with a nap.

(1953 – ) American comedian, writer & actor

Life is just a bowl of pits.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I've got to get out of this rut and back in the groove.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

I'm the kind of guy who will have nothing all my life and then they'll discover oil while they're digging my grave.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

Do not punish yourself, you deprive the world of its purpose.

(1967 – ) English comedian

Life’s all about ass – covering it, kicking it, kissing it or trying to get it.

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist

You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

Americans are not gonna conserve; we’re not gonna shift to smaller cars… we can’t… we have big, fat kids.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality

Digestion is the great secret of life.

Life: A breathing spell.

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Living well is the best revenge.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia.

(1922  – 2000) American cartoonist (Peanuts)

My New Year’s Resolution for 2010? … I will be less laz

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor