Subject: Marriage

Love and marriage go together like angel cake and anthrax.

(1959 – ) English writer & columnist
Emotions Love Marriage

Satan probably wouldn’t have talked so big if God had been his wife.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Marriage Wives

Mixed doubles are always starting divorces. If you play with your wife, you fight with her. If you play with somebody else, she fights with you.

American professional tennis player
Marriage Sports

Husband: A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife’s permission to say so.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

I was just surprised when my wife told me we were having a baby. I was like, “Wow, that’s awesome. You’re going to make a great single mom.”

(1966 – ) American actor, musician & comedian
Children Family Marriage

My wife converted me to religion; I never believed in hell until I married her.

(1892 – 1992) American film & television producer & director
Beliefs Marriage Religion Wives

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Mothers

Marriage is the death of hope.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Marriage

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Entertainment Marriage Sex Television

With my wife I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand; she lit it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Wives

If you go to war pray once; if you go on a sea journey pray twice; but pray three times when you are going to be married.

Marriage Proverbs

These days the meaning of a faithful husband is one whose alimony checks arrive on time.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Husbands Marriage

How many husbands have I had?… do you mean apart from my own?

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Husbands Marriage Sex

A fate worse than marriage; a sort of eternal engagement.

(1939 – ) English playwright
Marriage

I first met the wife in a tunnel of love… she was digging it.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Marriage Wives

My wife and I had words – but I never got to use mine.

Conflict Marriage Wives

My wife and I were happy for twenty years… before we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Time Wives

Marriages are made in heaven, maybe that’s why so many atheists fool around.

Marriage

Middle-age is the time of life, that a man first notices – in his wife.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Age Marriage Wives

Ah Mozart! He was happily married… but his wife wasn’t.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Marriage

Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they’ll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
America Children Family Marriage Parents