Subject: Marriage » Husbands

Every American woman has two souls to call her own, the other being her husband's.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Husbands Marriage Wives

The tragedy of marriage is that while all women marry thinking that their man will change, all men marry believing their wife will never change.

(1929 – ) British military historian, cook book writer & novelist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other – so now it’s just a waiting game.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian & game show host
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Husbands Marriage Shopping Wives

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Husbands Lies

My husband could have had any women he pleased – he just couldn't please any!

Husbands Marriage Women

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Fools Husbands Intelligence Marriage Wives

How many husbands have I had?… do you mean apart from my own?

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Husbands Marriage Sex

I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.

(1894 – 1988) American journalist, novelist & screenwriter
Husbands Marriage Women

A good husband is healthy and absent.

Husbands Marriage Proverbs

There's nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
Husbands Marriage People Wives

Why do men die before their wives? … Could it be because they want to?

(1967 – ) English comedian
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

You know… there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… husband!

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Husbands Marriage

If you go to any book store and look at any book on marriage, you'll see at least one photo of me about to put an ice tray with only one ice cube left in it back into the refrigerator.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Conversation Husbands Marriage Wives

Husbands are chiefly good lovers when they are betraying their wives.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Husbands Marriage Wives

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Health Husbands Marriage Ugly

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Husbands Marriage

The only thing worse than a husband who never notices what you cook or what you wear is a husband who always notices what you cook and what you wear.

Appearance Cooking Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws