Subject: Marriage » Husbands (Page 2)

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband; how about short and cheap?

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Beliefs Husbands Opinion

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Future Husbands Marriage Proverbs Time Wives

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Communication Husbands Marriage Speech Time Wives

Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Every American woman has two souls to call her own, the other being her husband's.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Husbands Marriage Wives

I’m still friends with all my ex’s, apart from my husbands.

(1946 – ) American recording artist, actress, director & record producer
Divorce Husbands Marriage

Why do men die before their wives? … Could it be because they want to?

(1967 – ) English comedian
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Health Husbands Marriage Ugly

If you go to any book store and look at any book on marriage, you'll see at least one photo of me about to put an ice tray with only one ice cube left in it back into the refrigerator.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Activities Husbands Marriage Relationships Sleep Things Wives

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do… but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

Husbands Marriage Wives

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Husbands Marriage Sex

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Husbands Life Marriage Wives

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Husbands Marriage Wives

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Husbands Marriage Wives

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Husbands Lies

Whatever arrangement you make for the division of household duties, your husband's job will be easier.

Housework Husbands Murphy’s Laws Wives