Subject: Marriage » Husbands (Page 3)

You know… there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… husband!

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Husbands Marriage

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Husbands Marriage

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Health Husbands Marriage Ugly

The husband who doesn't tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn't know won't hurt him.


Communication Husbands Marriage Wives

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Husbands Marriage

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Conflict Husbands Marriage Wives

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Fools Husbands Intelligence Marriage Wives

American couples have gone to such lengths to avoid the interference of in-laws that they have to pay marriage counselors to interfere between them.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Conflict Husbands Marriage Wives

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Time Truth Wives

The only thing worse than a husband who never notices what you cook or what you wear is a husband who always notices what you cook and what you wear.

Appearance Cooking Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other – so now it’s just a waiting game.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian & game show host
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

Husbands are chiefly good lovers when they are betraying their wives.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Husbands Marriage Wives

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Sex

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Husbands Marriage Time

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Husbands Life Marriage Wives

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Husbands Marriage Wives

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband; how about short and cheap?

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Beliefs Husbands Opinion

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Husbands Marriage People Women

Husbands are like fires – they go out when unattended.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Husbands Marriage

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
America Characteristics England Husbands Women