Subject: Marriage (Page 3)

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Husbands Life Marriage Wives

A bachelor can only chase a girl until she catches him.

Marriage Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

I think we explored the further reaches of “for better or for worse.”

(1944 – ) British scientist
Marriage

I am so against [gay marriage] because all my gay friends are out and if they get married, it will cost a fortune in gifts.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Marriage

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Hollywood Marriage Places

I told my doctor I think my wife has V.D.; he gave himself a shot of penicillin.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Marriage Wives

What was I thinking when I said “I do”? I’d already had sex with her; I didn’t need that again.

(1946 – ) American actor
Marriage Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Most wives are like ventriloquists: they stand there nodding while the dummy does all the talking.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Wedding License: A certificate that gives a woman the legal right to drive a man.

Definitions Marriage

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Happiness Marriage

I’m from Chicago, but I pay child support in Seattle; I’m just kidding – I don’t pay child support.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Age Children Family Marriage Places

Barbara and I celebrated our 51st wedding anniversary yesterday… we are very happy, but I would be happier if she got a job!

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults Marriage Self

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Conflict Marriage War

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Marriage

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Wives

Domestic Harmony: Music produced only if the husband plays second fiddle.

Definitions Marriage

I'm single because I was born that way.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage

Marriage, in life, is like a duel in the midst of a battle.

(1828 – 1885) French novelist, publicist & journalist
Conflict Life Marriage

Take my wife… please!

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Wives Wordplay

Many a necklace becomes a noose.

(1888 – 1982) American writer
Dating Marriage Men People Relationships Women

Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Marriage