Subject: Marriage (Page 35)

I asked him "Who said you could fool around with my wife" he said everybody.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Wife Regrets Staying With Man She Killed

A TV host asked my wife, “Have you ever considered divorce?” She replied: ‘Divorce never, murder, often.’

(1923 – 2008) American actor & political activist

Insanity: Grounds for divorce in some states; grounds for marriage in all

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: If I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.

Churchill, in reply: If you were my wife, I’d drink it.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

I don’t want to have sex; you’re my wife, for God’s sake!

(1946 – ) American actor

I told my wife she’s lousy in bed; she went out to get a second opinion.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

You might be a redneck if… you work with a shirt off… and so does your husband.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist













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