Subject: Marriage » Wives (Page 3)

Hovering between wife and death.

(1771 – 1854) Scottish writer
Marriage Wives

Bigamist: A man who marries a beautiful girl and a good cook.

Definitions Marriage Wives

I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed… I leave.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Marriage Problems Shopping Wives

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other – so now it’s just a waiting game.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian & game show host
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Self Wives

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee; unfortunately, she was just coming home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Sex Wives

My wife was too beautiful for words… but not for arguments.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Marriage Wives

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Health Wives

I take my wife everywhere… but she keeps finding her way back.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage Places Wives

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Marriage Memory Problems Sex Wives

Oh, we were doomed from the start. I’m an Earth sign. She’s a Water sign. Together, we made mud.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Wives

Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Marriage Wives

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Fights Marriage Relationships Sports Wives

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Conversation Husbands Marriage Wives

Bigamy is having one wife too many; monogamy is the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Wives

I understand that many newlyweds are vacationing here (Niagara Falls)… I suppose seeing the falls was their second biggest disappointment.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.

(1913 – 1989) American radio, television, film & voice actor
Marriage Success Wives

My wife and I had words – but I never got to use mine.

Conflict Marriage Wives

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Husbands Marriage Wives