Subject: Miscellaneous

Living With Crazy Buttocks

Full as a tick

Mom always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up, within reason; when I asked her what she meant by within reason, she said that I ask a lot of questions for a garbage man.

(1949 – ) comedy writer & humorist

It's coming up a cloud.

I sold my house this week… I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor

His face was all plowed up

… as clumsy as a blind dog in a meat house.

What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream? .. or what'’s worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you’re coming home, his face might burn up.

(1949 – ) comedy writer & humorist

I’m gonna tan yer hide!

Big hat, no cattle

I do all I can… and the easy ones twice.

Busier than a cross eyed cranberry picker.

The Horrible Movie Song

Old as dirt

Finer than frog's hair

He’s so tight when he blinks his eyes his toe’s curl up.

Fix your plate.

He’s shorter than a mouse hole.

Go piss up a rope.

So cross-eyed he could look at his own head.

The Animal Rescue Site