Subject: Money

You've no idea what it costs to keep the old man in poverty.

(1900 – 1979) British statesman & naval officer

The Jack Benny I knew threw his money around… not far – but he threw it.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

When you pass the buck, don't ask for change.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author

Wouldn’t it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

(1952 – ) comedian

No gold-digging for me… I take diamonds!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

(1861 – 1950) American writer

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, “Cough!”

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

All progress is based on a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.

Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.

(1919 – 1997) American businessman

One man's wage rise is another man's price increase.

(1916 – 1995) British politician & prime minister

 I don't like talking about money; all I know is the good Lord must have wanted me to have it.

professional basketball player, coach & executive

An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist

If men knew how to do it, they wouldn’t have to pay for it.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer

Her business seems to be doing well; it must be very ludicrous.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

There is no stronger craving in the world than that of the rich for titles, except that of the titled for riches.

(1887 – 1964) British actor, writer & theater director

Sure, it's nice to win; but there's only one thing that's important to me and that's the money we're going to get, win or lose.

professional baseball player

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby, while all the other coins will roll out of sight.

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