Subject: Money

Any man who has $10,000 left when he dies is a failure.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
Death Life Money

The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it.

(1862 – 1937) novelist & short story writer
Money Wealth

I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling… the rest I spend foolishly.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Alcohol Money Women

After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace, which I think is fine, cause if we didn’t make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Marriage Money People Women

Always Broke? Stop Living Payday To Payday

Headlines Money

Reparation: Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Money

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money Places World

Money doesn’t buy happiness; but happiness isn’t everything.

(1938 – 1979) American actress
Emotions Happiness Money

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars; that bothered my dad at the time because he didn’t have that kind of dough… but he eventually scraped it up.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Money Sports

We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Mistakes Money

You've no idea what it costs to keep the old man in poverty.

(1900 – 1979) British statesman & naval officer
Money People Poverty

BREAKING: Mitt Romney will embark on a three-nation foreign trip to visit his money.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Money Wealth

I got a $290 parking ticket today… my car only cost $240.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Autos Money Things

If the shoe fits, it's too expensive.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Appearance Clothing Money

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Acting Hollywood Money Places

Income: The sum of money which it costs more than to live.

Definitions Money

Let the kids pay it – they still owe us rent and gas money.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Children Government Money

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Emotions Money

The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money Past Time

If the guy was poor, I’d give it back.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Poverty Yogi-isms