Subject: Money » Frugal

He was asked to throw out the first ball at a World Series game; but … he looked at the ball and, instead of throwing it, he put it in his pocket and sat down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Jack was so cheap that instead of bringing his date flowers, he brought her seeds.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own Scotch, you bring your own rocks.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Even if you gave him poison he wouldn't die until he'd recovered the deposit on the bottle.

He’s the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Scotsman: A man who, before sending his pajamas to the laundry, stuffs a sock in each pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

I’m half Scottish and half Jewish, so don’t ask me for money.

(1960 – ) American actor, writer & director

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

(Jack) Benny’s so cheap he wouldn’t give you the parsley off his fish.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

When it comes to paying, he’s the first to put his hand in his pocket… and leave it there.

He’s too stingy to give you the time of day.

He took me to McDonald’s, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side.

comedian & radio personality

The Jack Benny I knew threw his money around… not far – but he threw it.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

The reason Jack Benny is looking so sad these days is that he’s not only losing a daughter – but losing a deduction too.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

That's Jack Benny; he's always out there on bad days like that looking for golf balls.

(1902 – 1977) American singer & actor

He breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth.

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

Misers make wonderful ancestors.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

The dime hasn’t been minted that could march past Jack Benny.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
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