Subject: Money (Page 3)

I forgot how expensive this town is; checking into the hotel this morning, I literally had to give the bellhop $10 just for taking my tip.

American comedian & writer
Money

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Life Money

If men knew how to do it, they wouldn’t have to pay for it.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men Money People Sex

If you think that education is expensive, try ignorance.

(1930 – ) American lawyer & educator
Education Intelligence Money

I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67… and that was cause I had no small change for the window cleaner.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter
Money Sex

Love conquers all things… except poverty and toothache.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Health Love Money

Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Money

Donald Trump is not just a rich man, he’s what a hobo imagines a rich man to be.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Money Wealth

I was once so broke I forgot whether you cut steak with a knife or drank it with a spoon.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money Poverty

An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Characteristics Money

You will never find any more loose change than you have already lost.

Money Murphy’s Laws

When a person with experience meets a person with money, the person with experience will get the money and the person with the money will get some experience.

Money Murphy’s Laws

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

Invest in inflation… it’s the only thing going up.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

A financier is a pawnbroker with imagination.

(1855 – 1934) English dramatist
Money

The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

Money Murphy’s Laws

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Marriage Money Work

The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only more expensive.

(1937 – 2000) science fiction author
Future Money Past Time

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Definitions Money

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Clothing Money