Subject: Murphy’s Laws

Murphy’s Laws:

Various “laws,” axioms, principles and observations that usually convey a cynical view of life and an underlying sense of futility. Most do not prove, or even explain anything, but rather simply state a maxim – usually that things will go wrong.

Anything that can be changed will be changed up until there is no time left to change anything.

Only kings, editors, and people with tapeworm have the right to use the editorial "we."

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.

Under any given set of environmental conditions an experimental animal behaves as it damn well pleases.

It ain't necessarily so.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Every solution breeds new problems.

Everything put together sooner or later falls apart.

All the postmasters in small towns read all the postcards.

You remember to mail a letter only when you're nowhere near a mailbox.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

Never, ever, fly on the airline of the country from which you are departing.

Doing it the hard way is always easier.

Automatic weapons – aren’t.

Envelopes and stamps which don't stick when you lick them will stick to other things when you don't want them to.

The fury engendered by the misspelling of a name in a (newspaper) column is in direct ratio to the obscurity of the mentionee.

To protect your position, fire the fastest rising employees first.

A man should be greater than some of his parts.

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

If it can break, it will, but only after the warranty expires.

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