Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 5)

You can throw a burnt match out the window of your car and start a forest fire, but you can use two boxes of matches and a whole edition of the Sunday paper without being able to start a fire under the dry logs in your fireplace.

Gumperson's – Corollary III

Murphy’s Laws Situations Starting a fire

The possibility of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says "you can't miss it."

Winfield's Dictum of Direction Giving

Murphy’s Laws Giving directions Lost

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: 1. a date, 2.his wife, 3. a better looking and richer male friend.

Beifeld's Principle

Dating Men Murphy’s Laws Relationships Women

The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.

Durrell's Parameter

Activities Murphy’s Laws Travel Airplanes Seats

A motion to adjourn is always in order.

Parker's Rule of Parliamentary Procedure

Murphy’s Laws Meetings

An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

Gerrold's Second Law of Infernal Dynamics

Murphy’s Laws Things Rest Wrong place

You can’t learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.

Maugham's Law

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Principles

The spirit of public service will rise, and the bureaucracy will multiply itself much faster, in time of grave national concern.

Branch's First Law of Crisis

Government Murphy’s Laws Bureaucracy Crisis

Kids used to ask you where they came from – now they tell you where to go.

Busch's Logical Conclusion

Children Murphy’s Laws

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Preston's Axiom

Murphy’s Laws Time Procrastination

It (housework) expands to fill the time available plus half an hour: so obviously it is never finished.

Conran's Law of Housework

Housework Murphy’s Laws

What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts – not the facts themselves.

Cohen's Law

Facts Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday.

Hanson's Treatment of Time

Murphy’s Laws Time Day Hours Saturday

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

Anonymous Murphy’s Law

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws Shoes

One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore, for instance, and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.

Updike's Observation

Murphy’s Laws People Bores John Updike Patience

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Lewis's Second Law

Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Time Expense

Just between you and I, case is important.

The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 2

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

1. Important mail arrives late. 2. Junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Laws of Postal Delivery

Murphy’s Laws Time Mail

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 5)

The one who least wants to play is the one who will win

No matter how many hot dogs you consume at home, they always taste better at the ball park.

Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the organization.

You can throw a burnt match out the window of your car and start a forest fire, but you can use two boxes of matches and a whole edition of the Sunday paper without being able to start a fire under the dry logs in your fireplace.

The possibility of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says "you can't miss it."

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: 1. a date, 2.his wife, 3. a better looking and richer male friend.

The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.

A motion to adjourn is always in order.

An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

You can’t learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.

The spirit of public service will rise, and the bureaucracy will multiply itself much faster, in time of grave national concern.

Kids used to ask you where they came from – now they tell you where to go.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

It (housework) expands to fill the time available plus half an hour: so obviously it is never finished.

What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts – not the facts themselves.

There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday.

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore, for instance, and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.

No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Just between you and I, case is important.

1. Important mail arrives late. 2. Junk mail arrives the day it was sent.