Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 82)

The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.

You can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.

If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

An inexorable upward movement leads administrators to higher salaries and narrower spans of control.

Facts without theory are trivia. Theory without facts is bullshit.

The most difficult light bulb to replace burns out first and most frequently.

Rosten’s First Law: First-rate people hire first-rate people; second-rate people hire third-rate people.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist

A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.

There is no direct relationship between the quality of an educational program and its cost.

If you do something which you are sure will meet with everybody's approval, somebody won't like it.

Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

If you start to clean your desk in the spare bedroom you will probably have to clean the garage to find what you need to finish cleaning the desk.

For every proverb that so confidently asserts its little bit of wisdom, there is usually an equal and opposite proverb that contradicts it.

Every organization has an allotted number of positions to be filled by misfits.

Corollary: Once a misfit leaves, another will be recruited.

The amount of time you have to wait for a bus is directly proportional to the inclemency of the weather.

Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.

Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.

If you did manage to get any good shots, they will be ruined when someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all of the dark leaks out.

Never conduct negotiations before 10:00 a.m. or after 4:00 p.m. Before 10:00 you appear too anxious, and after 4:00 they think you're desperate.