Subject: People

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

(1958 – ) Australian author

Some women pick men to marry; and others pick them to pieces.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Egotism: Usually a case of mistaken nonentity.

(1907 – 1990) American actress

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.


My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

In every group of girlfriends, there’s that one who is the sluttiest; if you don’t have that friend, you’re that friend.

(1981 – ) American Comedian

Men are like textbooks: you have to spend a lot of time between the covers to gain a small amount of satisfaction.

The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.

(1875 – 1965) German/French theologian, organist, philosopher, physician & medical missionary

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist

Men will cook if danger is involved.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Adding manpower to a late technology project only makes it later.

First of all, it's not that big, so I'm pretty sure a guy came up with that name.

comedian, writer, actor & producer

There's nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician

If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle; you don’t have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.

(1939 – ) English playwright

Some people are so narrow-minded that they have to stack their thoughts vertically.

(1953 – 1987) Dutch-born American actor

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

A man should be greater than some of his parts.

I concentrate on exercises from the waist down, since that is the laziest part of a woman's body.

(1934 – ) American actress, singer & author

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