Subject: People » Girls

I did think about adopting… an 18-year-old girl from Thailand, whose hobbies include vacuuming and some light dusting.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

Girls just want to have funds.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

I’d rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

If the Bible has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Girls are just friends who give you erections.

(1948 – ) British novelist, screenwriter & playwright

Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn’t have that, then she’s mine.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian

There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

(1922 – ) American author, publisher & editor

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette; we passed around six girls and one of them had VD.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

If you treat a girl like a dog, she’s going to piss on you.

(1964 – ) American singer-songwriter & musician

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it’s the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine – we were both crazy about girls.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author













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