Subject: People » Girls

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

(1922 – ) American author, publisher & editor

There are girls who manage to sell themselves, whom no one would take as gifts.

(1741 – 1794) French writer

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

There’s a reason it’s called ‘Girls gone wild’ and not ‘Women gone wild;’ when girls go wild they show their tits to people; when women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

If the Bible has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle draw the most interest.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine – we were both crazy about girls.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Girls just want to have funds.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.

(1956 – ) American comedian

Girls are just friends who give you erections.

(1948 – ) British novelist, screenwriter & playwright

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it’s the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist

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