Subject: People » Men (Page 2)

A man will fantasize that he’s having sex with someone else; a woman will fantasize she’s having sex with anyone else.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Men People Sex Women

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife's clothes.

(1864 – 1930) Scottish whisky distiller
Appearance Clothing Men People Wives

A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Men People Women

Why is it that men who can go through severe accidents, air raids, and any other major crisis always seem to think that they are at death's door when they have a simple head cold?"

(1898 – 1992) American actress
Health Men People

Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night, change its diapers, and give it a bottle, but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn’t have to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Children Family Men People

Real men don’t use instructions, son; besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men TV/Movie Quotes

If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.

Characteristics Marriage Men

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Age Men Time Women

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny; if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Food/Drink Men People Sex

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

Marriage Men Murphy’s Laws People Wives

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men Mothers People

The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets.

American playwright, television writer & author
Men People Sex Situations

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.

(1857 – 1924) English (Polish-Ukrainian-born) novelist
Men People Problems Women

I get a lot of cracks about my hair, mostly from men who don't have any.

(1933 – 2006) politician
Appearance Hair Men

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom… most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Things

I dress for women… I undress for men.

(1931 – ) American actress
Appearance Body Clothing Men Sex

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers; I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Arms Fear Men People Things

The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

Dating Men Relationships Sex

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Autos Men Things

About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.

American comedian & motivational speaker
Children Dating Family Men People Travel Women