Subject: People » Men (Page 3)

Y-chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only; the cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

One of the best things in the world to be is a boy; it requires no experience, but needs some practice to be a good one.

(1829 – 1900) American essayist & novelist

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

A man who goes into a supermarket for a few items would rather walk around balancing them than put them in one of those little baskets.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I’m at a point where I want a man in my life, but not in my house. Just come in, attach the VCR, and get out.

(1942 – ) American comedian, writer, actress & television host

During the feminist seventies men were caught between a rock and a hard-on; in the fathering eighties they are caught between good hugs and bad hugs.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist

Don't come crawlin' to a man for love; he likes to get a run for his money.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.

(1857 – 1924) English (Polish-Ukrainian-born) novelist

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker

Men are like portable heaters that snore.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife's clothes.

(1864 – 1930) Scottish whisky distiller

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times.


When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

A birth-control pill for men, that's fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest.

American actor & comedian

You fantasize about a man with a Park Avenue apartment and a nice big stock portfolio; for me, it’s a fireman with a nice big hose.

(1956 – ) English-Canadian actress

Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good;   (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Why is it that men who can go through severe accidents, air raids, and any other major crisis always seem to think that they are at death's door when they have a simple head cold?"

(1898 – 1992) American actress

At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

It’s not the men in my life that counts, it’s the life in my men.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Men are only as loyal as their options.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator

Men are my hobby; if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol