Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
People
(Page 119)
I know what the public want because I am one of them.
Lew Grade
(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul
Entertainment
Film
People
Television
The public
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.
Roger's Ratio
America
Murphy’s Laws
People
Promotion
A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
People
Women
There nothing like a head-strong woman to make you happy to be alive.
Wendelin Van Draanen
(1965 – ) American author of children's books
People
Women
Stubbornness
I’m not only Iranian, I’m also Jewish, and I know what you’re thinking… you’re thinking, ‘Wow, he’s Iranian and Jewish; I don’t know if I should hate him or hate him.’
Dan Ahdoot
American standup-comedian
Emotions
People
Self
Hate
Iranians
Jewish
Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good; (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.
Anonymous
Definitions
Men
People
Women
Taste
Living with a saint is more grueling than being one.
Robert Neville
(died 1457) English Bishop of Salisbury
People
Situations
Saints
Women love scallywags, but some marry them and then try to make them wear a blazer.
David Bailey
(1938 – ) English fashion & portrait photographer
Men
People
Scallywags
A woman scorned is a woman who quickly learns her way around a courtroom.
Colette Mann
(1950 – ) Australian actress
People
Women
Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
People
Old maids
Scandal
You have taken yourself too seriously.
The Fifth Rule
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
People
Self
Seriousness
A man's got to do what a man's got to do; a woman must do what he can't.
Rhonda Hansome
(1951 – ) American stand-up comic & actress
Men
People
Women
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People
Sex
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
Dick Cavett
(1936 – ) television talk show host
Entertainment
Money
People
Television
Profitable
Quality
Always be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet the same people on the way down.
Anonymous
Characteristics
People
Success
Yeah, I'm kind of lazy… I'm dating a pregnant woman.
Myers Yori
Dating
People
Relationships
Laziness
Pregnant
I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.
Ann Richards
(1933 – 2006) politician
Friends
Old
People
Enemies
Burt Reynolds once asked me out… I was in his room.
Phyllis Diller
(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
People
Relationships
Burt Reynolds
I don’t let men smoke in my apartment, but if I have a woman over she can barbecue a goat.
Todd Barry
(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Activities
Women
Smoking
A woman’s always younger than a man at equal years.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
(1806 – 1861) English poet
Age
Men
People
Women
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
Maureen Dowd
(1952 – ) American columnist & author
People
Self
Situations
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